Teaching people how to behave around your dog

Pre-empting encounters

It goes without saying, we can’t expect to go around giving everyone we meet instructions. The more you do it, the more likely you’ll meet someone who will object to being told what to do. However, don’t wait for something you don’t want to happen and try to repair the situation. Work to prevent the damage being done in the first place. This approach is crucial to working with all problematic behaviour. If we think based on previous experience something may happen, don’t let it happen if you can help it! If you’re not sure if a behaviour is going to happen, treat it as predictable! It’s far easier to prevent something happening when stress and arousal levels (in dogs and people!) are low than trying to respond effectively when they are high! Looking ahead and considering what may happen can prevent stressful encounters all round.

I personally find it quite frustrating to see people giving someone a telling-off for letting their off-lead dog go up to an on-lead dog—even though the handler of the on-lead dog made no effort to move off the path.

Example 1

You’re walking your puppy down the street (let’s imagine this is back in the day when everyone could approach anyone). Your learning history of walks with your puppy tells you that many people will stop and stroke them. But you don’t want your puppy to jump at them. As you approach the person, you see them looking and smiling at your puppy (this is your cue to assume they may stop and stroke them).

• Option 1: Recall your puppy to the side and reinforce focus on you as the person passes. By turning your dog away from the person and appearing to be busy (training), this is a pretty big cut-off signal. This often slows people down (giving you time to give them instructions) or stops them from approaching altogether.
• Option 2: Create enough distance that approach is thoroughly inconvenient (and potentially a bit creepy) for the person to attempt. For example, you cross the road.

Example 2

You’re walking your reactive dog in a big open space and you see a dog in the distance standing upright and staring at your dog. They trot forward a bit, stop, and stare some more. This staring by the dog is your information that this dog is likely one that will run over. Your main option here is to start briskly walking your dog away at a slight angle (so your dog doesn’t have to turn their back on the other dog, which can be hard for them).

Effective dialogue

So, you’ve tried to pre-empt and it’s not worked, or a situation happens so suddenly or the environment makes it difficult for you to do any of the above. What do you do?

This is where you may have to quickly and effectively have a dialogue with the person. The key here is to be clear, quick, and non-confrontational.

My formula:

• Instruct: Give a clear and simple instruction.
• Reinforce: Thank the person for complying.
• Explain: Briefly explain why you’re asking them to do this.
• Instruct again: If necessary, give a follow-up instruction.
• Reinforce again: Thank them again to reinforce the positive behaviour.

Practical examples

Example 1

You’re walking your reactive dog down the street and a postman suddenly appears in hi-viz out of someone’s garden—and they’re walking straight at you. Your dog tenses up and you know it will take too long to try to move them away, or pulling them away will escalate the situation.

1. Instruct: “Hiya, please wait one sec” with a hand signal ✋.
2. They pretty much always stop. If they don’t, calmly repeat but a little more loudly.
3. Reinforce: “Thank you so much for stopping.”
4. Explain: “I just don’t want my dog to react at you and scare you—he doesn’t like hi-viz! Can you please wait while I move him away?”
5. Reinforce: “Thank you so much, that’s so helpful. I really appreciate that.”

Example 2

You’re (seemingly) clearly trying to move your dog away from a person and dog heading your direction, but they don’t seem to realise.

1. Instruct: “Oh, Hiya! Please recall your dog.”
2. If no response, possibly not heard you:
3. Instruct: “Oh, Hiya! Please recall your dog.”
4. They’ve heard, they look confused, their dog is approaching yours.
5. Instruct: “Please don’t let your dog approach mine.”
6. They recall their dog.
7. Reinforce: “Thanks so much for not letting your dog come up to mine.”
8. Explain: “I don’t want my dog to react at your dog.”
9. If they say, “Oh, they need to be told off sometimes”:
10. Explain: “I would just be careful as some on-lead dogs may be defensive. I’d hate for your dog to get hurt.”
11. Reinforce: “Thanks so much for recalling your dog away.”

Example 3

You’re walking your dog who is curious about people and likes to approach them (looking ‘friendly’), but sometimes reacts by backing away and barking when people reach out to stroke them. A person is approaching on a walk and you don’t have time or space to avoid. The encounter is inevitable. The person is looking at your dog and smiling, but not saying or doing anything else that would suggest they’re going to stroke them.

1. Instruct: “Morning! If my dog sniffs you, please don’t stroke them.”
2. If they respond with ‘Oh…….okaaaaaaay’:
3. Reinforce: “Thanks so much. I know she looks friendly, but when people reach to stroke, she may bark and I don’t want her to scare you by barking.”
4. If the person slowly walks by ignoring:
5. Reinforce: “I really appreciate your help, thanks so much.”

Positive training scenario

Sometimes you get someone who has the time and desire to interact. This can be a training scenario and a positive experience for your dog!

1. Reinforce: “Thanks so much. I know she looks friendly, but when people reach to stroke, she may bark and I don’t want her to scare you by barking.”
2. If the person stands still, lets themselves be sniffed, and is smiling:
3. Reinforce: “You’re doing a great job of standing still and not stroking her, that’s so helpful.”
4. Instruct: “They look much more relaxed now. What they really enjoy is being stroked between the front legs under the neck, on the chest area. She doesn’t like being stroked on the head.”
5. If the person strokes as instructed:
6. Reinforce: “She’s really enjoying that… just stop one second.” This gives your dog a chance to disengage.
7. If the person stops and your dog moves away:
8. Reinforce: “Ahhh, she’s had enough now. Thank you so much, that was really helpful and a really good experience for my dog.”

Key takeaways

• Be friendly and informal: Open up with a greeting.
• Quick instruction: Get the behaviour you want out of them as quickly as possible. Describe the exact behaviour you want them to do in as few words as possible.
• Reinforce: Describe exactly what they’ve done, even if seemingly small, to maintain this desired behaviour.
• Explain: This helps them understand why you felt the need to tell them what to do. Make it clear it’s to benefit them.
• Back up cues: Instead of just verbal, use visual cues like hand signals too in case the person hasn’t heard you.

Conclusion

Obviously, you will encounter the odd person who cares not for helping. It can be hard to maintain patience and politeness with some people. But if we try our best to set the scene for success, you’d be amazed at how many people are compliant or even willing to help. If we explain things calmly and well, they may behave differently the next time they’re in a similar situation.